Two pink lines stare back at you as your stomach drops to the floor. Time seems to freeze, and all you can hear is the increasingly fast beating of your heart.
You are pregnant.
Shocked, you look in the bathroom mirror at the reflection of a potential soon-to-be mother.
The realization that you are going to have to tell your boyfriend and parents makes your hands clammy.
How will they react? What will you do with your pregnancy?
If this situation is one you are walking through, here are a few tips for talking to your family about your unplanned pregnancy.
If you are feeling nervous and anxious, a couple things you can do include:
Write in a journal. Pour out all your feelings and thoughts onto paper.
Find a stress-relieving activity like painting, running, or yoga.
Talk to a counselor, especially if you are nervous about your partner or parents becoming angry over this situation.
Cling to hope. Try to focus on the positives and not the negatives. If you can’t think of any, here are a few:
- You are about to witness your own strength and resiliency.
- You are about to take your relationships to a new level.
- You may get to play a role in bringing a child to people who long to be parents if you place your baby for adoption.
- You may be about to fall more in love with a human than you ever have if you choose to parent.
- You are about to meet more kind people who want to help you.
Remember What is True
No matter how your boyfriend and family react, your self-worth is not altered by your unplanned pregnancy. Your life and your story have immeasurable value, regardless of what other people say or think.
Even if there are people who do not support you, you do not have to walk through your pregnancy journey or decisions alone. Our staff is here to walk alongside you every step of the way, free of charge.
Look for role models who have walked this same journey as you and have had bright and successful futures.
You have options no matter what others say.
Research Ahead of Time
Before you share your news, it might be a good idea to do some research ahead of time on your different options. You do not have to make an immediate decision, but having details about what it would look like to parent or place your baby for adoption, as alternatives to travelling out of state for an abortion, might be helpful for the discussion.
You can also find out more about financial aid and assistance for pregnant women and birth moms.
This will help you feel more confident about the future, and less likely to be pressured into a decision. It may also alleviate some of the anxiety that your family and partner feel, once they learn that you already have some tools to be successful in your pregnancy.
Right Time and Place Matter
An unplanned pregnancy is not something you can just send a quick text about, even if the father was a result of a casual one-night stand.
Choose a quiet and relaxing atmosphere to tell your boyfriend and family in person. A loud restaurant with a lot going on is not a good place to drop the news.
Also, choose a time that is most likely to be good for conversation. Late at night after a long day of work is probably not the best time.
However, you don’t want to wait too long to share the news because they may be more upset that you did not tell them sooner. Plus, the earlier you share the news, the sooner you can have (hopefully) support for your journey.
Try to schedule an afternoon/early evening meeting within a couple weeks of finding out about your pregnancy.
After you share the news, remember that they may need some time to process the news that you have already had time to process. Give them space to think about it all before you expect a response.
If you are worried about how your boyfriend or parents might react, ask a trusted friend to come with you when you tell them about your pregnancy.
At our clinic we are here to help you. If you want to come in and get free pregnancy testing and ultrasound to confirm your pregnancy before telling your loved ones, you can do that. Your visit with us can be confidential. We can listen to your fears and answer your questions, helping you with your research about abortion, adoption and parenting.
Please know that your unplanned pregnancy does not have to be a stressful, negative event. Contact us today to find a hope-filled support system at our clinic.